MIRACLE’S BEFORE MY EYES

On June 25th @ 10:30 I was in a sort of heavy sleep,which was unusual because I normally didn’t fall asleep until late. But I remember this time because when my phone rang it was messenger. I was instantly upset because I thought it was my son’s friends calling because my son usually have my phone and this was there way of calling him, fb messenger. But this time it wasn’t THEM… It was actually my son, Stevon… Shocked now as to why HE calling me now, I answer half asleep and curious. All I hear is “momma Tramaine got shot! Now I’m awake and scared,but still thinking I must be sleep still “WHAAT? jumping up! shaking Carlos, I wake him up and yells to him “take me to my baby! Tramaine just got shot!”

Horrified, don’t know what to expect… I ask my son, “what happened? My son repeats himself again “Tramaine just got shot momma! Now I say call the ambulance! But I could hear the ambulance in the background. I didn’t know what to do now. Going to my daughter’s house the world was spinning. Nothing made sense. Every light caught us but in my mind, I’m floating, I could hear nothing but my son repeating those words in my ear and me screaming. Now I can hear and as we turn the corner I see police,people out crying..& yellow tape. Noooo! I jump out running to the last cop, Carlos takes over the conversation because all I can do is cry asking where’s my baby? Carlos gets me back to the truck having getting the information that they have taken her to UMC. Now I’m even more horrified because now I know it’s real. It did happen, but now I need to know is she alive. The cop answers yes last I heard.

Now arriving at the hospital after the ride from my daughter’s to the hospital couldn’t be over any faster… All I wanted Carlos to do is get me to my baby. My mom & sister was there waiting for me to arrive runs out to the car to get me. That’s when reality hit me! MY mother is waiting for ME because MY BABY is shot… I fell out! Carlos had to pick me up and carry me in,they had to have a nurse to come check me. I was in shock but my mother insisted I stay with them until I hear something about my baby. After to me hours of waiting, the surgery team that was working on my baby came out and let me know everything I needed to know. All bout where she was shot; how many times, and what they were doing to her, what was next to come. Basically gave me all the answers I was looking for, and now I needed to know when can I/ see her. With the surgery going good and the rest of the work that needed to be into play, I was able to see my baby a hour after that… 4 hours I saw my baby.

When I saw my baby, the ventilation machine was 100%, but after all the prayers and she was fighting hard, my baby was coming off machines left and right, everyday,they were unhooking kidney drains,liver bags…. Things I never even heard of my baby had it on her.but she still here.

Through all of this, I was distraught but shocked at the same time because I was basically watching another miracle before my eyes,seeing my daughter on those same machines my grandson was on for drowning 2 years ago on Fathers Day. He was said to be braindead and yet, he’s a survivor…. But he fought so hard to still be here with us still and I thank GOD; I thank GOD I can share these miracles with the world. I can say I know with prayer and true faith GOD always shows us miraculous miracles.

GOD WAS BY HER SIDE

On June 26th a coward tried to play GOD and almost took my 23-year-old baby girls life… She and her boyfriend was sitting in front of her house, she had just got home from work. They pulled up on her and her boyfriend, & shot the car up, my baby tried to get out and run into her house to her babies and got hit 3 times, the chest,the side, & the hand.My baby has 2 beautiful little girls to raise.

I haven’t been able to come to write about it until now. But by GODS GRACE AND MERCY, I have some strength to even share my baby incident. Hopefully every day after today I will get to write more then after that more until I can finally share her testimony. But please keep my girl Tramaine and family in your prayers for recovery. GOD has a purpose for all. AMEN…

MY LIFE AS A WRITER…

My life as a writer is kind of a hard journey I’m traveling in like a misguided state of mind. I get kind of lost and stuck at times, I get to that place where I have no idea what will come up next! But as a writer you have no room to think that way… You can’t think about getting stuck and not knowing what to say. So daily I try and write about the goings on in life today, jist letting the words flow,what and how it went or is going on. There is no such thing as not having anything to write about, because things going on everyday is something to write about… IT’S LIFE, LETS TALK ABOUT IT

Getting through

FIGURE IT OUT

In life, we all have to figure things out sometimes. At work, bills,relationships,even life for some,figure out how they gonna eat,sleep etc… being a parent sometimes we have to figure things out… Yes, with me being a teenage parent is what I called a choice, because it was what my mother gave me while I was still in high school.
I knew about sex, because of course it was so out there!

I was being taught about it in high school, or talking about it with friends even before my mother and her boyfriend,came to me and sat me down and had an adult talk with me for the first time. I remember I was so horrified! I wasn’t having sex then,but I was feeling the urges. No! I was not about to tell my mother “well now since you brought it up, yes… I am ready”. So shy about even having this conversation with my my mother! I feel was my first responsibility of figuring it out! Have this embarrassing conversation with them,or deny it all and be free. First choice I had to figure that out! It was a hard decision, I’ll take B, just lie about you even being interested in sex they’ll leave you alone.

So I had that choice before I put my mom through the embarrassment of having a 15/16 year old high school child having a child, as if she didn’t do her part as a parent! Now being a teenage parent,raising a child as a child myself… there were things I had to figure out myself, my mom was still working, I had to be a mother. I did that, now not only do my mother have to raise another child,keep me in school & work! She had to figure it out!

So now, me being a mother, I see so many things I did to my mother,that my kids do to me and I just laugh to myself & shake my head. I was always taught to be strong for myself, and to be a self dependent woman, and to never expect anything free because nothings free! So I grew my children on that very sternly now today. I install self dependency in them because I was raised on laziness as being a sin.
I taught them how to never depend on some thing always have a back up plan in life because ANYTHING can happen at any given time. I let them know I will always be there but I can’t do it for you.
I can’t always help you sometimes you have to figure it out!

I can hold your hand up to here, now I have to let go” “what now”? “ Well figure it out”! I can’t live your life for you”, What do you want to do?” Sometimes I’m there for them way too much and it makes me feel helpless for them… And I have to step back,and do a self check, a reality check on myself. The American dream not free baby, you have to work hard, and sometimes you don’t even get it then… You make mistakes,call mistakes upon yourself…even after warnings, you pay for those mistakes,and when you need me sometimes,I just can’t help you at that moment, then what? Then you’re stuck… you just will have to figure it out! I will teach you, I will help you, but when you make certain beds, you have to lie in them yourselves.

As hurtful as it may be at that moment, you just have to tell them… figure it out! I gave my children the same things and opportunities my mother gave me, and I still made my own decision. So sometime I use to have to figure things out! But with GOD’S LOVE,THE LOVE OF FAMILY & FRIENDS & THE TOOLS OF LIFE…
YOU WON’T GET STUCK WHEN IT’S TIME TO FIGURE IT OUT!I was going to use photos…but decided against it!received_271915806602271

A SLEEPWALKING JOURNEY

Today I had a very surprisingly shocking situation happen to me. I say shocking because it came without a warning,without me being able to even react! But to have GOD by my side at all times I know I can breakthrough anything. These things don’t just happen… They accumilate over time,catch you in a deep comfort zone, then suddenly like a theif in the night it happens. But never let a situation take you out your realm. That’s what they’re here for, to just give us that push we been needing, that push we pray for but make no efforts to fix ourselves. So when you get a warning, then you keep turning a blind eye, GOD will show you,. He get so tired of you turning your head he just will grab it,make you face it… Make you stare it straight in the face & see it for what it really is.

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Now sad from the fall but still landing on my feet. Realizing it’s not that bad, to have went through this situation,to see things for what it really was the whole time, thank you JESUS for letting me see.moral of my story is that, everything isn’t always what it seems… A sleepwalking journey is what you do when you say you believe in GOD but wanna take ways of the world and twist certain things of GOD’S words to make what you do right.the truth will come out eventually…AND YOU WILL HAVE TO OPEN YOUR EYES.
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WHAT IS THE REASONS FOR HATRED?

EVERYBODY AGAINST EVERYBODY

I really can’t recall things ever being good thinking back,all the way back, but I do know this: We need to know that we are all people. Yes I know some have more than others, but that only make you richer in finances. But who are you really? What purpose do you serve other than you having more than someone? As a woman or man, can anyone say you made a difference to someone other than yourself? Were you a mentor to anyone other than being told to in a line of acting? I mean some people go about the world judging people by their skin color when I really never understood this part seeing we have the same things, eyes,arms ears,legs,lips nose,fingers,toes etc… We look different!

Celebrities,rappers,singers it’s all talent! No reason because another new person come out, you have to beef. It’s called talent! All of you have it, why do you feel you have to make a statement towards another to make your music or scenes better, are you not good unless you bashing someone else?

But aren’t we all humans that only make different choices? Not even twins are alike, their thoughts aren’t even the same, You may get those that are identical and a rare case that they can agree on majority of things.

But I feel we all can do more to make this world better without all the hatred we spread against each other as actual “HUMAN BEINGS”. I never intended on this blog being about anything particular, but I do want to spread more than writing messages. I want to spread the word of being a better people of this world.

We are who & what can make the world what it is by some of the choices we make, we as the people have separated ourselves from love with the bickerings of being selfishness. What are we teaching our children?

With some it was taught and with some it was a choice of their own even when they were taught better. Some people would want to change but by others having certain influences over some, certain people feel scared to make a different decision. Be who you want to be! Do what you want to do! If you keep going in the whirlwind of another you will never find yourself!

I saw how much of an impact Tyler Perry came out and had the biggest influence, I love how he inspired and gave so many opportunities to so many, I heard of how Opera impacted, and My girl Ellen I just love her. But I know that’s not all but just throwing some out there. But we have so many celebrities that failing right now and it’s so sad because these are people that had impacts in people that watches them and for them to have their entire lives in the publics eye… They don’t stand a chance. Some can keep it together so good then you have those that have so much pressure until they explode. Sad,sad,sad… The media do them so harsh that they just have no type of self containment. They have to be on their P’s & Q’s at all times because they live their life for the media to have a job.

We can’t come together as a nation if we can’t come together as people. How do we have a president that makes the news on a daily basis, and the news is rarely good news! What’s going on with America?

NO WHERE IS SAFE FOR OUR CHILDREN:SCOOLS,CHURCHES,HOMES,CONCERTS… NOWHERE

The cartoons have been battling from day one, that’s where we as children was first introduced to violence, yes it came from home first! From the cartoons,Tom & Jerry, Tweety & sylvester, The road runner & the coyote I can go on and on all violent! Now we have the little cursing south park kids cartoons. Named all the good cartoons gay and took those off the air, I still try to find cartoons like teletubbies,Barney etc…